Shifting

Every night I hang up fresh tea towels.

It has become a marker for me, a scene that could become a montage of how quickly life flows – the mundane signpost to another day gone by. Faces wiped clean, cuddles given, band-aids applied, snacks delivered…

I show up.

On grumpy days, hard days, happy days and exhausting ones. I deliver lectures, deliver children to places they need to go. ‘Is it enough?‘ I wonder in my unguarded moments. ‘Should I be helping others more? Finding causes to bury myself into?’ 

I stare at the cheeky faces in front of me. Pick up the baby who is beginning to realise his separateness. Clutch tiny fingers in the palm of my hand. See the lean kid who was only yesterday my toddler. Cheer with abandon at the boy performing his actions with gusto in his Christmas concert. Murmur with appreciation at her masterpiece on crumpled paper.

I am ‘only’ a mother. It is the ‘only’ job I have.

And, I remind myself, it is the most important one I could ever hope to fulfil.

This post is inspired by the Five Minute Friday writing challenge. Each week I join with this talented group of writers, free writing for five minutes in accordance with a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘only’. 

Continue Reading

Missing the Mark

Getting out the door in the mornings can be exhausting. Some days we limp, laden with bags and heavy hearts into the car, wishing it could have been different. Yesterday was one of those days. Eli has been almost jumping out of his skin recently. Barrelling around the house bossing […]

Continue Reading

What I’ve Learned: Spring 2017

It began with surgery – anchoring down into survival mode – and then suddenly life began to bloom again. Hudson recovered amazingly well and began sleeping deeply and talking so much more clearly. We let out the breath we scarcely knew we had been holding and welcomed the wave of […]

Continue Reading

Entering

When time slows and minutes creep the ticking lags and seconds jag I see the hovering pieces, floating  settling, looming … My breath catches silently heaviness descends a shimmering sheet of light shutting out the lists, the beeping urgency … I stare  at worn hands each crinkle tells tales, the […]

Continue Reading

Shifting Scenes

It’s a blurred line a quivering  shadow I trick myself again. … Reaching out it seems so  desperate, crucial the ‘very thing’  to satisfy. … The dawning comes brutally, swiftly Sweetness turns to  powder on the tongue … ‘You fell for it again’ the sneer echoes unkindly Heaviness descends into […]

Continue Reading