I’ve noticed lately that there’s a peculiar shift that occurs as your children grow up.

At first our stories are so intertwined as to be indistinguishable. This blog was born in a time where motherhood was my only identity. Indeed, it had to be. My every waking moment was concerned with keeping a baby and toddler alive, in a time where that baby had numerous health problems and a tendency to scream instead of sleep. It was brutal and magical, exhausting and invigorating.

Now, as my eldest turns ten, I watch our stories take different trajectories. Mine, into political self-education and fiction-writing, and his into the plethora of unique opportunities that beckon to him. I’m not needed as I once was, yet in other ways that requirement for nurture and encouragement is just as critical.

Eli was born to be a leader. He has clear ideas of how life should be organised and prioritised and has no qualms letting us know about it. At his best, he can coordinate a game for his siblings that has them enthralled for ages. Going up a grade brought out the fighter in him, and he went from wreaking havoc on the classroom due to interminable boredom, to viewing learning as a challenge once again.

Over the years, he has matured into a remarkable guy, and I love that we are able to have deep discussions about politics, history, ideology and religion. In fact, he has developed a very sneaky trick of knowing exactly which question to ask to bypass my defences and allow him to stretch out his bedtime. Eli devours books faster than I can keep him furnished with them and has an incredible knack for writing his own stories. He’s confident, witty, athletic and funny.

It has been a pleasure to watch him develop his skills – from basketball to soccer, guitar and piano – nothing stops him from practising and nailing new moves in record time with his laser-sharp focus. I’ve even noticed an improvement in his manners recently, with comments like ‘thanks Mum for making dinner, this looks delicious!’

Sometimes I forget that he is only ten as it feels as if we have a teenager in the house (with the good and the bad parts of that stage), and I wonder what his teenage years will really entail. (Mind you, we’ve already jokingly said that in our house all he has to do to rebel is to declare himself a vegan or willingly put on a face mask and that will very quickly prompt some debate!)

Raising kids is truly one of the most rewarding (and difficult) tasks, in that it takes everything you have. There’s the constant mulling over of whether you are doing enough to help them achieve their potential, whether you are adequately protecting them from various dangers and whether they are learning all they need to in order to be a quality human. Nevertheless, I couldn’t imagine doing something more meaningful. I’m so grateful to have a vibrant family to do life with and four incredible kids who make me smile and marvel every day.

Another year of Eli has been a great pleasure, and we are so encouraged by the amount of growth we have seen in him. We hope that he continues to find his spark, to invest deeply in life and to live with an acute sense of integrity.

…

Dear Eli,

I know you are probably a little embarrassed by these letters now, but just go with me! One day, I hope that you will find them to be an interesting snapshot of each moment in time, as well as an evolving story of the person we witness you becoming.

I see you as a strong oak tree, planted in the middle of a flowing field. Your roots delve deep underground and you withstand storms and wind. Remember that it is the rich soil that you are planted in that sustains you, and the brilliant sunlight – the ever-flourishing Love who birthed the universe.

A great future awaits you. The world is in dire need of strong men – men who are grounded and intelligent. You have been created for such a time as this. Don’t be afraid. Don’t shy away from the challenge. You will have everything you need.

Your name means ‘defender of man’. You are the next in a generation of men who stand for truth and justice. I know you will use your strength for helping those around you who are vulnerable.

Beware when others try and convince you that dark is light, or black is white. At times, simple common sense might seem scandalous, but test what you are told for its veracity. If anyone will only befriend you because you echo their views, walk away with your head held high.

We are so proud of you already, Eli, and celebrate your depth of character. You bring us joy and hope. May you become everything you dream of being, and may the world benefit from your intelligence, intuition and heart.

Love forever,

Mum xxox

PS. Sorry this is so late.

PPS. Looking forward to your next haircut… let it be on the record that the ‘modern mullet’, while exceedingly popular at the moment, will never be one of my favourites!