To what can I compare this year? Hudson’s eleventh birthday brings with it a bounty of contradictions, a handful of insights and a multitude of memories.
Hudson’s life so far has been packed with challenges. From the drawn out birth, to the varied health problems all documented comprehensively in this blog, surgery before his first birthday, ongoing hip issues, NDIS funding and multiple interventions, he has been a trooper in rising again and again after setbacks. At times he has asked me why things are more difficult for him and we’ve had to explain that everyone has different burdens to bear, but that he can only do his best to meet the obstacles in front of him.
This year we were in the midst of homeschooling him, a path of action that he was definitely not thrilled about, but we justified it in light of the hopes we had for catching up and investing into his growth. Unfortunately, the ever-social side of Hudson struggled with the shrinking of his world and even though we had more opportunities to hone his learning, the motivation factor often got in the way. Homeschool became a battle of sorts, a chance for debate and deflection rather than deep engagement. When Eli returned to school at the end of February, Hudson looked towards his brother in longing, hoping that he too would get his chance. Little did we know that he was about to get his opportunity much sooner than any of us were expecting.
In the meantime, we planned an epic trip to Sydney. Just the two of us. After hearing about the Brain Hub in Gladesville and going through the interview process, we booked our week-long intensive for June and boarded the flight to Sydney. Hudson approached the trip with great anticipation for the exploratory section (and trepidation for the medical side), putting together a list of ‘must-do’ activities and planning our itinerary for the day we would have to explore the city.
A super early start depleted our energy and made it difficult for Hudson to keep his eyes open for the intensive testing on the first day (despite the much anticipated McDonald’s breakfast), but he rallied and did his best. We were ready to crash by the time we arrived at our apartment down the street and Hudson took the chance to have some downtime on the Switch he’d brought along.
Over the next few days, Hudson worked hard, making gains in the various therapies that were on offer. He wasn’t always thrilled to participate, but I was proud of him for having a go and stepping considerably far out of the easy zone. We got the chance to do fun things around therapy sessions – swimming at the local pool, visiting the nearby shopping center and exploring the busy street and restaurants around the apartment.
The big highlight was on Friday – our tourist experience day. We had become quite adept at catching the bus and really appreciated the New South Wales public transport system. It was a quick trip into the heart of the city and the weather was beyond perfect for the occasion. If we were tracking our steps that day it would have no doubt ranged in the thousands, as we explored Darling Harbour, the Sydney Opera House, Royal Botanic Gardens, City Library, Australian Museum, War Memorial and more. It was a whirlwind of sights, smells, sensations, colours and history.
By the time the afternoon came around, we were ready to head home and chose to take the ferry. Scoring seats right up the front, we felt the sea spray and waved to Luna Park (the one place we didn’t get to on Hudson’s list) from afar. It was the perfect way to end the day.
The next day, we flew back to Melbourne, armed with a list of daily exercises (which we’ve been fairly consistently doing since) and hearts filled with hope. Since that time, we have noticed various gains in Hudson’s abilities as he’s become more integrated in body and mind, although we still notice the hampering effect of his hip dysplasia.
It was only a couple of months after that that Hudson (and the others) returned unexpectedly to school, and he took the opportunity with gusto, leaping in with surprising ease. He made friends quickly (one of his superpowers) and I’ve often witnessed him walking around the school effortlessly greeting people with handshakes and nicknames, as though he’s been there for years. His lovely teachers became like second mothers on campus and would always regale me with updates about ‘Huddy’ (a new nickname that has well and truly stuck) when we ran into each other, with huge smiles and natural effervescence. Life returned to Hudson’s eyes and his face took on a healthy glow again. It was, for him, a coming home.
When school finished for the year, Hudson relaxed into the holidays and discovered an obsession with cricket, watching the games whenever he is allowed and even dressing up in the full gear to mimic the players movements. He set up a makeshift pitch on the back deck and before long all of the kids were enthusiastically bowling and batting along with him.
Obviously, his New Year’s birthday is a blessing and a curse, but we try our best to manage the highs and lows of the occasion. We celebrated the changing of the years with close family friends – pool time, fire pit and Fortnite/Switch games, and caught a faint glimpse of faraway fireworks from our front verandah at midnight. The cries of ‘Happy New Year’ were interspersed with ‘Happy Birthday Hudson!’ and there was even an impromptu silly string battle in the middle of the street with our neighbours.
The next morning Hudson did his best to sleep in, and we just made it to Ikea for breakfast before the cut off. Although the standard of the meals has declined (and the prices increased), we still enjoyed a meal out together and a brief wander through the aisles before heading home for presents (mostly shoes and cricket gear) and hot dogs. Both sets of grandparents joined us for dinner (chicken lasagne and a chocolate birthday cake) with another twilight cricket match on the deck. The next evening was Hudson’s first (successful) attendance of a real cricket match at the MCG, with Dave and my Dad. (His previous attempt had been rained out).
Given the difficulty with January birthdays and school parties, we had to be strategic and set the date of Hudson’s party for the middle of the month. Thankfully a handful of his friends weren’t away camping or interstate and Hudson got to enjoy a fun celebration with them. Despite the fact that we returned from camping the day before and had to plan and pull off an entire party in one day, it actually worked quite well (thanks in no small part to the ever-present help of both my parents). Hudson and I went shopping in the morning and he chose the entire menu (chips, drinks, sausages in bread and burgers, with a double Coles mudcake that I frosted in layers). By the time we had waved ‘goodbye’ to the guests, I turned around to find everything washed, dried and back in its place!
Hudson’s very best friend, Judd, who he has sorely missed being apart from ever since leaving BHCS, was serendipitously able to make the party after all (as his family came back a day early from camping) and Hudson was overjoyed to be be reunited with him. Judd slept over and kept the party going, with an Avengers movie, more Fortnite and a pancake breakfast the next morning.
There was still one more Big Bash League experience to go the next evening, complete with a bonus ‘on the field experience’ at the end of the game. By this point we were adamant that Hudson had been well and truly celebrated and any perceived disadvantage to having a New Year’s Day/January birthday had been redressed.
This year we are hoping for big things for our energetic eleven year old. With continued nightly exercises, holiday investment into learning catch ups and strengthening of skills, a renewed request to the hospital for an update over Hudson’s hips and a hearing test booked for tomorrow, we are doing everything we can to help give him a boost and hope that each tiny step will lead him to a flourishing and satisfying life. And, if his reading material is anything to go by (the biographical tales of successful sports stars) he will have an epic tale of overcoming adversity to tell one day. Watch this space.
…
Dear Huddy,
(I can’t believe I’m even writing that down, given my staunch opposition to any kind of nickname, but somehow the moniker seems to suit you.)
You are a boy of many faces. A burst of sunshine, a tornado of fun and an invisible wind of sly provocation. You are a pure laser lightbeam (when you are reading at night or watching a match) and a scattered snowstorm (when you are bored).
We love your enthusiasm and stubbornness, your ‘out of left field’ comebacks and magnetic pull to your siblings making your room the ‘fun room’ and place to be. Your penchant for oversized clothes is slowly fading, although you are funny in the way you are drawn to the same comfort outfits. You’ve moved on from your Buzz Lightyear pajamas to the iconic Bauhaus motor oil pants and Marvel tee-shirt at least!
You haven’t had an easy life, but none of the sports stars you admire have either. Thank you for being willing to do the hard work to get on track, to tolerate our lectures and attempts at helping you. We truly want what is best for you, and promise to continue to be annoyingly persistent in our creative attempts.
May you see your brilliance and potential through the eyes of your heavenly Father, the One who made you just the way you are. His plans for you are manifold, stretching out in every direction beyond your wildest dreams. May you know how deeply and securely you are loved.
Thank you for how dependable and helpful you are. We see your tireless work in the thankless tasks – keeping your room continually clean and ordered, being the first to volunteer to wash the car or move furniture. You are incredibly capable and efficient, which will no doubt make elements of your life much easier in years to come.
God knew exactly what he was doing when he placed you in our family. We wouldn’t be the same without you and life would feel much less vibrant for your lack. You are a constantly evolving gift, Hudson Patrick. We are so much richer for your presence in our lives.
Love forever,
Mum
xxox
