Fire and Ice

I have this theory about self-awareness. It comes in waves. Circumstances suddenly arrange to reveal to us an angle to ourselves or a revelation that had henceforth been hidden. That feeling of intense discomfort and shame (the messy middle, to coin a Brene Brown term) can be so unnerving as we come to terms with the depths of who we never thought we were… which then leads to a new level of comfort – a satisfaction that comes from the hard wrestle of doing the work. Arriving at that place, I realise that I find the process a little intoxicating. In hindsight.

I crave it

seek it out

drawing nearer to the flame

moth-like wings beating

insistently

Warmth encasing

life embracing

I slide my toes 

deeper, sinking down

chasing burnt amber

skies

Wind whips

cold chills

The bandages pull loose

Fists of ice, clenching

revelations unfriendly

finds

I tense 

against

the weight of burdens

suddenly realised

Squinting eyes 

Fingers slide to reveal

uncomfortable 

truths

I wait

for the surge

the covering

unearthing another 

layer 

It is the unveiling.

This post is inspired by the Five Minute Friday writing challenge. Each week I join with this talented group of writers, free writing for five minutes in accordance with a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘comfort’. 

 

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9 comments

  1. Hi Emma! Loved this…especially this part about the unnerving feeling “as we come to terms with the depths of who we never thought we were… which then leads to a new level of comfort – a satisfaction that comes from the hard wrestle of doing the work”. Indeed I have found different parts of myself over the past five years since my divorce. It’s really hard work to be comfortable with yourself! Thanks for verbalizing this concept.

    1. Thanks Amy! So glad you resonated with the concepts, it really is hard work isn’t it? I’m learning to try and see it as more of a positive thing even when it feels so uncomfortable!

  2. I appreciate the Brene Brown reference and your beautifully painted word portrait of the challenging self-discovery process. Visiting from FMF.

    1. Ah Brene Brown is so amazing, isn’t she? I found her book Rising Strong to be so incredibly influential and life-changing… Thanks for stopping by!

    1. I think you must be a few hundred layers beyond me with what you have had to go through, Andrew! I think I find every layer a little scary….

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