Observations in Free Fall

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A flash of fear, something I can’t control.

Are her tears a sign of illness? 

Has the scarlet fever taken her too? 

It flares in my stomach 

I react before I mean to. 

I lose it. Over milk bottles.

But what is ‘it’ exactly? 

My sense of calm, of presence?

Being connected to the flow, to the universe?

I marvel at the way my inner peace unravels.

I reach out to grasp something that was never mine. 

How I wish I could hold their health in my hand 

Protect their lives and extend their happiness. 

But every time I do, I step into the abyss.

It swallows me, mocking laughter as I free fall

Until I realise

I have everything I could ever wish for. 

The peace of knowing it is not mine to control.

That the waves of life will buffet and shatter

But I will stand strong at the heart of the storm

As long as I cleave to the Ground of Being. 

 

This post is part of a link up with an amazing community writers at Five Minute Friday. We free write for five minutes each Friday on a prompt. Join us!

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24 comments

    1. Yes! I don’t know why my mind races with all the things that could go wrong like I have some hope of controlling it at all! Thank God we don’t, hey? Glad things turned out OK for Strawberry!

    1. Sorry, I meant to post the background which I completely forgot to do! My son Eli came down with scarlet fever and I started looking at every possible sign as a symptom in the other two kids… thanks for the feedback!

    1. Yes, I am convinced that He holds us all (regardless of what we profess to believe) and carries us more than we know… thanks for stopping by!

    1. Thanks Courtney! We had a bit of a health episode here this week but everyone is back to normal thankfully! Looking forward to reading your post, haven’t got around to that part yet but I love sitting down with a cup of tea and being inspired by everyone!

  1. Great post! I so relate to wanting to be in control and finding my inner peace unravel. It’s not easy but there is definitely freedom to be found in letting go and trusting God. Visiting from FMF #38.

  2. Emma,
    oh how scary, yet how wonderfully you turned it around as an opportunity to trust and not “lose” hope. 🙂 This was an especially beautiful post this week!
    Love,
    Tammy
    (#45)

    1. Oh thanks Tammy! Sometimes I wish I could skip the difficult part and just go straight to the insight, but it doesn’t seem to work that way 🙁 Just about to go and read your post! xx

    1. Yes it is such a cycle, isn’t it! Appreciate your kind words and to know that my struggle resonate with you as well 🙂 Will check out your post soon!

  3. Great post, Emma! I guess it’s perfectly normal to lose “it” sometimes as a parent. And I agree that I wonder what “it” is at times. Only when we lose it we realize how much we need inner peace and strength and stability. So your conclusion of relying on the “Ground of Being” is just perfect!

    1. Thanks Katha, it only just occurred to me to wonder what ‘it’ was, I had just been mindlessly using the phrase for so long now… But it does help to delve into why, hey? Appreciate your encouragement xx

  4. Oh parenting is so hard. So thankful God keeps reminding us to release and receive. And oh how often He has to remind me. Hope your littlie is doing better.

    1. It sure is, isn’t it!? Thankfully he is doing much better and the penicillin works wonders – so thankful to live in an age where we can access medicine and medical care with ease. Thanks for stopping by!

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