A flash of fear, something I can’t control.
Are her tears a sign of illness?
Has the scarlet fever taken her too?
It flares in my stomach
I react before I mean to.
I lose it. Over milk bottles.
But what is ‘it’ exactly?
My sense of calm, of presence?
Being connected to the flow, to the universe?
I marvel at the way my inner peace unravels.
I reach out to grasp something that was never mine.
How I wish I could hold their health in my hand
Protect their lives and extend their happiness.
But every time I do, I step into the abyss.
It swallows me, mocking laughter as I free fall
Until I realise
I have everything I could ever wish for.
The peace of knowing it is not mine to control.
That the waves of life will buffet and shatter
But I will stand strong at the heart of the storm
As long as I cleave to the Ground of Being.
This post is part of a link up with an amazing community writers at Five Minute Friday. We free write for five minutes each Friday on a prompt. Join us!