What If I Stumble?

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Watching the three tumbling bodies wrestle on the rug last night, it struck me: “They will never be this little again…” and then the follow up thought: “Thank goodness”.

It had been a rough afternoon of tantrums and parenting battles, arguments and rages. What had started off as special experiences – going to visit Dave at his ‘coffice’ (the corner table at McCafe) and getting Eli fitted for his new school uniform – turned ugly when one child lost a helium balloon and another couldn’t bring himself to detach from his precious new clothes. We all became the worst versions of ourselves….at the same time.

Sometimes, the journey feels like forever. The tough parts linger and sting on reflection, I cringe as I recall words spoken that can’t be taken back. We try to recover, apologise, push aside the insidious reach of shame… but it isn’t always easy.

Other times photos flash up on the screen and I see Time speeding past. Moments that felt like yesterday now months or years in the past. I hope that I can reflect back on this stage of life well, that I will be satisfied that I did all I could to savour the moments, show love and grace, instil valuable principles and demonstrate patience. I guess I have to accept that some days will be better than others, and that the way we respond after our mistakes is often more important than the initial stumble.

This post is part of the Five Minute Friday challenge that I’m participating in along with a talented community of other writers. We free write for five minutes each Friday in accordance with a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘journey’. 

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10 comments

  1. Exactly. You are doing the best you can. And the stumble line always makes think of the song “What if I stumble, what if I fall.” I’m in the 8 spot this week.

  2. Emma,
    oh so relatable. “The days are long but the years are short.”
    🙂 And balloon problems?! Oh the dilemma of a five year old and the shorter life of all balloons on the planet!
    Praying your pregnancy is going well. Your children are absolutely darling. God brought me reminders again and again in the youngest ages that of all the women in the history of the universe, He chose me to parent the children I was given EXACTLY how I would-including my perceived errors, both to shape them and to shape me into His image and purpose.
    You are the best mother those children could ever have had!
    Love,
    Tammy
    (your next-door neighbor tonight at #10)

    1. That is such great advice, Tammy! So often when I screw up I think that I am the worst pairing for my child at that moment, but he is teaching me so much (as we tend to struggle with the same things)… I end up giving myself advice as I speak passionately to him… and often realise after the moment has passed, of course… Looking forward to reading your post! xx

  3. I can so relate. But I can also promise one thing… the brain-damage caused by 20 years of multitasking is awesome😂—you will forget almost all of the bad days and remember almost ALL of the good ones! It’s built into the heart of a mommy to remember the angels they can be, even after the nightmare trips to McDonald’s. I promise.
    This too shall pass! ❤️️
    (Your neighbour down the street in #14 this week)

    1. Haha I love the way you put it! I’ll be holding onto that… and I have noticed a certain form of amnesia which I’m terming ‘Gramnesia’ that Grandparents seem to have in relation to the not so great moments of parenting!

  4. Pardon me for laughing, but I did. I can afford to, because I’m long past that part of life. I can assure you, you have brought back memories of me and mine all becoming “the worst versions of ourselves at the same time.” Someday you’ll laugh, too. This is all just so normal. Welcome to normal. And I second all the good advice in the comments above. God bless, and give you some peaceful rest this weekend!

    1. Yes, when the moment passes it is so much easier to see it with a grain of humour rather than catastrophe! Thanks for stopping by 😀

  5. Oh Emma,that’s a post every momma can relate too. My youngest is now 10 and I wonder…the beauty is we all have those days, and the kiddos forget easily 🙂

    1. That is very true… often I’m the one holding onto the bad moments and trying to explain them and the kids are like ‘what are you going on about, Mum?’ I’m learning!!!

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