Shifting

Every night I hang up fresh tea towels.

It has become a marker for me, a scene that could become a montage of how quickly life flows – the mundane signpost to another day gone by. Faces wiped clean, cuddles given, band-aids applied, snacks delivered…

I show up.

On grumpy days, hard days, happy days and exhausting ones. I deliver lectures, deliver children to places they need to go. ‘Is it enough?‘ I wonder in my unguarded moments. ‘Should I be helping others more? Finding causes to bury myself into?’ 

I stare at the cheeky faces in front of me. Pick up the baby who is beginning to realise his separateness. Clutch tiny fingers in the palm of my hand. See the lean kid who was only yesterday my toddler. Cheer with abandon at the boy performing his actions with gusto in his Christmas concert. Murmur with appreciation at her masterpiece on crumpled paper.

I am ‘only’ a mother. It is the ‘only’ job I have.

And, I remind myself, it is the most important one I could ever hope to fulfil.

This post is inspired by the Five Minute Friday writing challenge. Each week I join with this talented group of writers, free writing for five minutes in accordance with a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘only’. 

Continue Reading

The Impossible Price

Life A collection, completion Moment upon moment Minutes that stretch  into years … Arrival is impossible intangible, elusive And yet we strive, for something, someone anything that will take us forward … Breath and beauty shadow and pain achingly combine Knitted together  seamlessly … What is a moment  worth? When I am […]

Continue Reading

The Ticking Paradox

I think in waves Fingernails in need of a snip Winter beachside holidays My body sharply reminds me  of the sleeping baby’s need for sustenance … I gaze forward in anticipation, wonder hesitation and fear Caught in the moment  the bouquet of uncapped colours strewn haphazardly as if forgotten … […]

Continue Reading

Surrender

I conspire against it biding my time tapping fingernails against the steering wheel  willing life to return  to a ‘normal’ speed again … ‘Slow’ gives me too much space to ask questions to catastrophise, ruminate be Showing up the inconsistencies  A bright, glaring light of truth … Can I learn […]

Continue Reading

Evolution

At first it lingers frustration brewing fears sparked Movements that don’t  flow, glide, settle Breathing ragged emotions heightened wistful glances to the  past … It burns a hole through which a  whole can emerge Glances of superiority  become flashes of  understanding, empathy, relief The pedestal slowly lowering for all the […]

Continue Reading

The Current

Pressure rising bubbling under the fragile surface words bouncing off  darkened faces Shallow, quick  desperate breaths … Gaze holding Hands busily twisting wheels and wishes Gratitude rising Peace blossoms Luxurious air  travelling inwards … Panic erupting clutching, grasping hoping for the swell of  pain to abate Breath ceasing body tightening […]

Continue Reading

A Common Life

So much of my life right now involves moments of routine, repetition and the mundane. Wake up, serve breakfast, get kids dressed, attend appointments/drop offs, make lunch, set up kids in rest time, make dinner, bathtime, bedtime. Often, you would be forgiven for mistaking days that merge into one – […]

Continue Reading

The Sphere

I only have these eyes  from which to see the world I only have these ears  to witness beauty unfurl These fingers type and try to make  a picture of what I take in This breath I can use to sigh  in regret or savour the satin  wonder of Ivy’s […]

Continue Reading