Mind Games

Not enough. 

Whispers communicated through

streaked benchtops

piles of hastily stacked

crockery

Windows dotted with

evidence of living echo

‘clean, erase, perfect’

Not enough.

Resting is lazy, dwindling the

minutes as if they were a luxury

‘What did you accomplish today?’

‘Why didn’t you

go there, be that, fix him?’

Furious scrubbing

Drown the messages

in spray and wipe.

Not enough. 

Hasty reactions, slips of the tongue

Decisions made then regretted

Missed moments, head buried

in distractions

Words that sting, hang

in the air

Desperate attempts to reclaim

swipe hopelessly through their

translucent effigy

Enough!

My cracks are my beauty

the flaws – my softening

Moments spent idly

invested in invisible

castles

Chaos – the evidence of

thriving

I will myself to sink

into that shimmering

reality

instead.

This post is inspired by the Five Minute Friday writing challenge. Each week I join with this talented group of writers, free writing for five minutes in accordance with a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘enough’. 

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14 comments

  1. “My cracks are my beauty…” LOVE this, Emma.

    I have a large ceramic plate on a shelf behind me as I write; it was knocked over by an inquisitive child in a Pier One store, and I bought it an put it back together. Took awhile, yeah.

    I would not have bought it, whole; I would not part with it, broken but vibrant in its colours and scars.

    #1 at FMF this week.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/04/your-dying-spouse-294-famous-last-words.html

  2. Oh yes this: “Enough!My cracks are my beauty!” It can be so hard to see that but I can’t help but think of Gungors song “Beautiful Things.” God makes beautiful things out of dust; out of us.” We are enough because God’s love for us is enough! I’m in the 39 spot this week.

    1. That is a powerful song, isn’t it? When shame and guilt get out of the way, what beauty is there to be witnessed…

    1. I wish I could live more in that reality, and I think that gradually I am coming to, thanks to our chats and reorienting! Appreciate those so much more than I can hope to express xx

  3. Emma,
    I love the alliteration of idly investing in invisible castles. Your poetry is beyond beautiful and yet the raw reality of that unfair pressure is the pain of every stay-at-home mom whose house used to be kid free and mess free and quiet and peaceful and lonely and empty all at once.
    Your beauty is in your love. You love the irrational howling human that cannot cope with a single disappointment and you shush and you coo and you hug and you heal and you are Jesus’ hands and feet to these precious babes.
    May you realize your worth is far greater than you’ve ever imagined. I recommend reading Mary’s prayer at the end of Luke chapter one. It applies to you as well.
    Love,
    Tammy
    (#5 this week)

    1. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, Tammy! The physical reality is so much easier to observe and quantify that I often forget to look beyond that… You are so right though – that our beauty is in the love expressed, the wordless actions that convey our commitment and sacrifice. I think that is so profound.

    1. Trust me, I don’t often see it that way! It is only in my moments of written clarity that I can appreciate the chaos and disorder as something more beautiful… Guess we are all on a journey, hey?

  4. Emma, I look forward to breathing in your beautiful words in every linkup. This poem speaks to the heart of the tension we feel. The arrangement, imagery and literary devices create a message that penetrates the soul. “I will myself to sink into that shimmering reality instead.” What a wonderful paradox.

    1. That is such a kind thing to say, Stephanie 🙂 I’m so glad that through my messiness and brokenness, others can feel hope and we can look together towards a reality where striving and hustling are not ideals… xx

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