I used to wear ‘busyness’ as a badge. Something to be proud of or gain worth from. It was a way to prevent myself from reflecting, from thinking deeply about my identity.
Not that I realised it at the time.
Gradually, I’ve been following the crumbs down the yellow brick road. Starting a regular yoga practice last year was the first step. It has been such a way for me to recharge holistically and I notice a stiffness and ache in my body when I don’t get a chance to practice.
I have a ritual of rest which I practice alongside the kids each afternoon. Each of us gets a chance to recharge alone, the kids delving into dreamland or vivid imaginative worlds, while I lap up the words of wisdom from other writers from a position of recline.
Podcasts like On Being also put me in a reflective place – considering the beauty of the universe, the mystery of spirituality and the ‘connectedness’ of our souls.
Refusing to rest didn’t take away any angst. On the contrary, it magnified feelings of discontent and discomfort.
Having come this far, there is no way I would or could return. It has become a wellspring of peace and discovery, of enchantment and rejuvenation. It is my whitespace.
To read a more developed iteration of this idea, and my passionate pursuit of stillness and contemplation – see here. And to listen to a beautiful rendition of the famous song – Elixir’s Yellow Brick Road.
This post is part of a link up with an amazing community writers at Five Minute Friday. We free write for five minutes each Friday on a prompt. Join us!