I’m not sure if I’m meant to admit this or not but I actually love being a mum… well, most of the time. Sometimes I feel this is almost socially unacceptable to say given that despite the fact that my second son is only four and a half months old, I am constantly asked when I’m heading back to work. I guess it is somewhat unthinkable that someone who has spent 10 years of their life studying and practicing as a lawyer should find the unpaid duties of motherhood rewarding.
Even when faced with the reality that we may lose our mortgage I was still reluctant to return. Not because I didn’t love my work or the people with whom I worked, on the contrary, I felt intellectually stimulated and made great friends, however somehow this just doesn’t compare to the joy that I feel watching my sons learn something new and realise that their capacity is increasing.
Motherhood is intense, that goes without saying, but I love the challenge of it – the strategising of juggling two kids and their nap times, the utilising of that brief window of time while both kids are napping to get started on dinner, even the seemingly mundane task of stirring a pot of bolognese sauce or rotating washing on the clothes house is strangely satisfying.
Today at mother’s group I felt the beauty of what we are doing together, even in the midst of telling off our children for jumping too closely on the trampoline or wanting to play with the same toy. Children expose our weaknesses, fears and idiosyncrasies, but can also lead to the greatest joy, hope and love imaginable. Watching four and a half month Hudson with the widest grin on his face being bounced around on his back with three other toddlers on the trampoline, I experienced all the latter emotions at once.