Paint it Black

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It turns out that five is a hard year. Either that or we are doing something majorly wrong as parents? I hope it is the first option. Rages are a thing we are dealing with right now. Even this morning we battled. I cannot even remember what triggered the final showdown in the end, but it happened. When the prompt was ‘paint’ I immediately got a flash of an insidious black substance that coated everything while these rages were happening. Here is a poem of what it kind of what it feels like during an episode.

A brief pause, then 

eruption. Small fists balled 

in effortless rage. He 

spews out words that 

would never, should never

be said but for this

black, oozing paint

that taints, erodes, tarnishes.

Calm is not my colour. I

explode into shards of frustration

in response. Where is my

perspective? Where is my

compassion? I am 

covered in tar. 

When peace returns we

embrace, heave a spent sigh, wipe

tear-stained eyes. Wishing it could have,

we could have been

better.

The sludge begins to recede

we watch it trickle away, 

waiting, watching for

our weakness. 

I’m trying something new this month – #Write31Days with a talented community of other writers. We free write for five minutes each day guided by a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘paint’. 

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For more information on 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes, check out Christina Hubbard’s site!

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6 comments

  1. Oh my goodness can I ever relate to to the difficulties of five…the need to push boundaries. My daughter and now dealing with the same from my son. A hardwired age for pushing limits. Beautiful words.

    1. Oh that is good to hear, that the age is a difficult one, I mean – not that your daughter is having a hard time too 🙁 Gives a sense of perspective that I really need right now!

  2. This was powerful, Emma. Such a vivid picture of what emotions must look like if we could see them. Praying that Father would give you wisdom and strategy to bring the gold out of your precious little 5-year-old.
    My favourite book for stuff like this: Boundaries for Kids, by Drs. Cloud and Townsend. I love how they give you a picture of the goal (what kind of teen you want to have one day).
    Grace grace.

    1. Thanks so much for the recommendation, Shauna – I really appreciate it 🙂 and for your prayers as well – we always need those, that’s for sure! Will check out that book asap 🙂 Particularly love the connection between what kind of teen you want to help develop – that is a great long term goal and way to view the situation…

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