When things go wrong, when sickness hits, when the rages storm… it is difficult to stand back and keep the global view in perspective.
The little frustrations seem to add up to a negative whole, my self worth (tied up so often in what I do) seems to languish when all I can manage is to stumble out of the covers to help with dinner and bedtime.
I know, intuitively, that these difficult phases will pass – that tumultuous tantrums on the rug will resolve when Ivy can form easy sentences… that my immune system is already working tirelessly to battle on my behalf. I also know that greater struggles and challenges will pass our way as our children age into complexity.
Through it all I try and breathe. To savour the little moments – the touching of noses and fascinating gaze into my eyes before I put her to bed, the intriguing scenarios Hudson concocts – raising a notebook to his ear as if it is a phone. The calm after the storm when my kind-hearted little boy re-emerges and speaks love again. The husband who keeps ushering me back to bed, reassuring me he has everything under control.
Life was never meant to be easy. We all have our own battles and secret struggles – the experiences with suffering, frustration and the thwarting of our hopes and plans. I’m learning more and more that there is such power in the sharing – in the ‘me toos’ that echo back and make me feel less alone, in the hearty pot of chicken soup dropped off to mend broken spirits, surprise play dates and Kinder pick-ups to lessen the load, and in the banding together of our own little village in the process. That is a reality that reassures me, feeds me hope and resilience and makes me think we can handle this – no matter what.
*This post was written in more than five minutes.
This post is part of the #Write31Days challenge that I’m participating in along with a talented community of other writers. We free write for five minutes (or more) guided by a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘global’.
For more information on 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes, check out Christina Hubbard’s site!